Hot & bothered

[illusionofjoy]

I am always reminded of how annoying I find the majority of humanity whenever I go out into the actual world and am forced to deal with other human beings. In the twenty minutes alone it takes me to commute from home to work on the trolley, I can name any number of things about my fellow passengers that have either annoyed me or pissed me off outright. These are other people who allegedly have jobs to get to, yet when boarding and disembarking, they dawdle, they take up whole aisleways, blocking the path of others...it's mind-boggling how inconsiderate some of these jerks are! There are mornings when, in the madness that comes with waking too early for my personal tastes and riding in a car where half of the time I don't get to sit down, I want to dispense with all civility and start shoving and beating on other passengers for their idiocy! These emotions manifest themselves particularly strongly when I am climbing up the stairs at one of the subway stations and am forced to stare at some yutz's ugly ass for far too long as they piddle up the staircase (usually taking up more than their fair share of the aisleway).

One I get to the subway station, I have a routine every morning: I go to the coffee stand located between the escalators and buy a newspaper. The usual clerk is a girl with glasses and a pot leaf tattooed on her arm. She knows me by sight and I usually never have to wait long to pay and be on my way to work. This morning, she was wrapped up in training a new girl. While she with the tatoo has remained constant as this establishment, assistant turn-over seems rather high. In the past couple of months, I have seen the second person change from a cute chubby redhead, to some stoner dude, to an emo kid and the latest person is some emo girl, who is kind of cute, but seems none too bright. About the only assistant there to satisfactorily fill my order (that is, make sure it didn't take more than ten seconds for me to pay for my paper and be on my way) was the chubby red-head. The newest one, emo girl, while nice eye candy, took about a minute to give me my change for what should have been a simple transaction (I hand her $1.00, a newspaper costs $0.50, ergo I receive two quarters in change - duh!). I doubt she is going to last long, unless she straightens up real quick.

I've been working overtime lately - nothing too severe, mind you, no more than half an hour after when I usually would leave. Still, it's frustrating that tasks which I used to be able to complete before quitting time now take longer than usual. I don't mind the extra pay, but I do like to get home, so I can have as much "me" time as possible.

Speaking of home, it was about a month ago that I purchased an air conditioner for my apartment and called about having it installed. In my building, one has to buy a particular type of air conditioner - a casement unit which will fit the windows in the building. Since electricity is part of the rent, a $20 fee is tacked onto the usual payment in order to compensate for the energy used by the cooling unit. As of this writing, despite repeated phone calls, my air conditioner is still sitting on the floor of my apartment, unused. Needless to say, they won't be getting any $20 fee out of me until they end my sweltering. More importantly, I'm sick of exposing my new computer to the heat...this has to be shortening its lifespan!

Meanwhile, my computer has yet to be used for what I originally intended to use it for: recording and music composition. Basically, there are only a few parts I need to buy in order to make my system capable of doing this. I could probably do that this month, if I double check my ledger after I buy new boots (my poor old combats are falling apart).

For too long it seems, I have neglected my music. My problem is not that I don't have anything I want to work on, but that I don't have the proper medium at the moment to work on it. Right now I am not interested in creating new bare-bones songs or re-hashing what I've already written and played to death. I honestly want to get some studio time in; I want to take the new songs I have already written and pry the vision I have for each of them out of my head and make them whole! Hence, the need for a sound card (and a real guitarist too, come to think of it, but that will come later).

So, I've been going crazy with these things in my head, unable to come out. I may just have to complete my home studio this month for my own sanity and put other things off until later (except the boots...the boots take priority, as I do so hate being barefoot and they wouldn't appreciate it at the office either). I just don't want to become as dead as everyone else I see on the trolley in the morning. It's an awful feeling.

Comments

[silverkarakuri.livejournal.com]

I am sure you will understand the reference, but there is one of Henry Rollins spoken bits where he talks about two type of movies, one where everyone and everything is happy and the other where its the exact opposite... and the main character Cameron starts just losing it and kicking and pummelling everyone at the bus stop... and everyone is going *YES!!! I so want to do that* and people in the back are like *I DID THAT, and got out just last week!*

You know, I wonder at what point where simply just losing it and doing everything we have ever wanted to do to complete idiotic bone heads would be viewed as a public service instead of something to be ridiculed for? This might sound seriously psychotic or sociopathic, but if I had the chance to just let loose on some unsuspecting dolt and know with some reasonable assertion that I wouldn't be traced to it... I would do it. And that level of resonable assertion... gets lower and lower everyday I have to deal with people. Its why I tend to stay indoors where I can.

I've got a list, or twenty.

[lord-null.livejournal.com]

Every day after work I need to add at least dozen people to my list. Perhaps we should co-ordinate our plans.

[joi-division.livejournal.com]

Oh my god- I love that Henry Rollins bit. (The man is Gawd.)

There are days when I get behind some person walking along, like they have nowhere to go. Or they step in front of me and stop...I have internal visions of wanting to just shove them or beat the living hell out of them.

It's ironic you talk about this...and you forget to mention what happened when we went to the grocery store- and the old bat who decided to get in everyone's way. Rude as it may seem, I wanted to pick up the cane and start flogging her with it.

As for the air conditioner, start calling them every day until it's installed. You've been *more* than patient about it (certainly more patient than I would have been, especially with this heat) and it's time to take off the gloves, so to say. With two guys, it should only take a half hour for them to install it. Start being a pain in the ass about it- because from what I can see, being nice about it isn't working. Pretend you're a little old Jewish lady and start complaining- oi vey! ;)

[meiow.livejournal.com]

I just don't want to become as dead as everyone else I see on the trolley in the morning. It's an awful feeling.

Amen to that. I look at people like that, and think they must just sit at home watching TV every night, and work a job they minimally enjoy during the day. I can't imagine not having a creative outlet; letting myself grow stale and stagnant. *shudder* I fervently hope it never happens.

[meiow.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... are you actually angry at the "dolts" surrounding you, or angry that you're standing among them, which breeds a fear you'll become one? Is it projection of your anger for letting yourself get to that same space? Perhaps a need to shout out, "BUT I'm DIFFERENT!" - but with a worrying suspician in the back of your head that you AREN'T?

Just a thought.

[illusion-of-joy.livejournal.com]

Q: How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: "None *sigh* I'll just sit here in the dark..."