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illusionofjoyAfter a discussion with my professor today, I've decided to definitely keep the CD boxed set packaged with the textbook for Experience of Music, even though it was the most expensive thing I purchased in my book-buying "spree." Without the boxed set, I'd have to listen to everything in the Crane library. Suffice it to say that Crane is very much out of my way this semester, so it is better that I have the course materials right in my room. As I mentioned yesterday, procrastination is marginally more difficult when an assignment is staring at you head on.
From the assignment department, there is a semester-long group project coming into full swing in my other class today. Group projects always remind me as to why I so often rank people at the subcutaneous level of the planet's layers. Today I was sitting in a group with four girls (note, I did not say women). Two of them sat next to me, while the remaining two sat on the side opposite. A discussion was had, mostly among the four females until the professor called for a quick break before we returned to class. Taking advantage of the time out, I walked out of the classroom to the men's room down the hall. Upon my return, I discovered that all four girls had changed their seating arrangement so as none of them had to be situated next to me.
I'm pretty well-versed in symbolism, and if I am to infer as to the meaning behind the action of these girls, I would be forced to conclude that group work with them would be a rocky road indeed. I settled into solitary reflection as the girls all started chatting with each other. They were all preppy things - all engaged if not already married and if not engaged, simply gaga over their boyfriends. In other words, I found whatever snippets of their conversation I heard to be quite vapid.
I've come to the conclusion that I much prefer looking inside of people rather than at them. From where I sat, those four girls looked fucking ugly. To any other ball of testosterone, they would have probably seemed quite attractive - all slender, tanned and full tittied. However, I saw every imperfection on all of there bodies: hairs out of place, eyes that were just a bit too small, nostrils that were a little too big...it was as if they're outer appearance, for me, now reflected my internal perception.
Perhaps I am being just a mite oversensitive. After all, people shift there seating arrangements all the time in classrooms, right? Right? Yeah, I didn't think so. It just leaves me dismayed that at this point in the game people are still reacting superficially. I'm nearly 22 years old - early November is when I hit the 2.2 decade mark. Most of the students in this class are the same age. However, these four couldn't factor me into their perfect little world of tans, rabbit-food diets, beer and boyfriends. None of them wanted to sit next to "the weird guy" and those who were so unfortunate escaped when the opportunity arose.
