I'm so tired...

I missed one of my final exams - the one on Monday. I thought that it was going to be today. In fact, I was positive that it was today...but I was wrong. I emailed the professor, stating what happened, but I'm at the end of the line as far as school goes, I'm certain...

I feel so burnt out...it makes me wish I had the moral decrepitcy to abuse the counseling centre like some whores I know...

Fan mail

From : "A freind" <youarelame@hotmail.com>

To : <seth_warren@hotmail.com>

Subject : TSWP

Date : Tue, 10 Dec 2002 12:09:21 -0500

Dear Warren

After scouring your journal entries, your personal, pitiful attempt to meet girls on some meat market internet dating scam, after looking at the pictures of yourself or more accurately how you would like to think the world views you and after meeting you face to face I have added all of these clues together to make the same conclusion that everyone around you has made and will continue to make until you your self grasp the concept; you are just like every one else.

You are squeezing yourself into a narrow predefined subculture that was stagnant long before you ever tried on your mamma's eyeliner. you just want to stand out and be noticed so badly that you have sold out your originality. Go home today, take a deep breath, close your eyes and stop pretending to be who you obviously are not. Try to ignore the urge you have welling inside you as you read this to take this essay as attention. I noted that you are the possessor of much of the arrogance that you say you so despise. This stems from posting glamour pictures of yourself onto the internet, this kind of self-promotion does not fit the gloomy stereo-type you are attempting to fit.

You must ask yourself as you stand in front of a flash bulb posing for friend or family; Am i posing? i hate that. i hate myself.

here is the self-defeating logic that you are tripping and stumbling over, you are trying to be happy(or content or whatever) being some thing that you hate. Aviod Cliche's and struggle to become original. This may mean discarding the urge to pose for camera's as they flash, to commit your self image to film and then as you admire the photos later you imagine yourself to be trent Reznor or Bowie or what ever other entertainer you prefer. even Ace freley had to put the costume down sometime. You are trying to wear the costume every day of every week and not even the people you admire do that. stop being so hard on your self and just move on. Goth is dead and the scene is just dry humping its corpse.(although those gothic babes deserve a little more dry humping than the rest.)

Please do not be offended by my words. I am only trying to answer so obvious and pitiful a plea for help.

Sincerely
"ANTICITIZEN"

A guy you've met before face to face, mere inches away although a momentary meeting, I saw this cry for help and felt obligated to reach out, I live minutes away from the Potsdam campus. Hope to see you around. Cheer up you gloomy Gus

Then again, I could just find satisfaction in doing whatever I feel like with no regard to what anonymous wankers on the internet may think. Is it just me, or did anyone else expect that last sentence to end with, "have an Irn Bru?"