OTR: Kirstin Candy - Another Sweet Mess

Kirstin Candy's official website - the one with the URL printed on the back of the CD case - has apparently suffered the same fate as Camera's website. Typing in the address and hitting "Enter" loads a page full of Asian characters and weird links. Typing her name into Google reveals a music career which, it seems, last saw activity in 2007. I think this is the curse of anyone involved with the business of music; even when the peak of one's involvement is gorging on everything your could get your ears on at a college radio station you get to see the massive disparity of how many people end up in obscurity versus the infinitesimal few who "make it."

Kirstin Candy, to date, has released two albums. I have her debut disc, released through Liquid/BMG/Escalator and sent to my college radio station in 2002. Released on August 20^th of that year, this was likely one of the first releases of what would be my final semester at school that I would put on the station playlist. The station was finally using a computer to play music when no live DJ was present (and some live DJs had taken to using the computer to play music) and I remember updating the playlist to include three songs from the disc: "Crazy (About You)," "Heaven" and "Count to 10." That final one - "Count to 10" - was my personal favourite, but I'm a sucker for melancholy.

Candy has a full band on this disc and despite being a pianist, there's nary a piano to be heard on the album. Instead the production of the album has placed Candy as the vocalist to a backing band which makes her sound like a melding of Bic Runga and Neko Case. She's a good singer/songwriter, but I do wish I could hear her playing piano...or at least a keyboard - but that's my bias as a keyboardist. Sometimes it seems like everyone wants to be the lead vocalist or the guitarist.

Apparently on her second album, La Vie En Rouge, my wish is granted.

So, in tapping away at what I can remember and digging for nuggets of information online, the CD has come to "Count to 10." Yes, it's still a sad, beautiful listen even though it's been a while since I've put it on. Like I said, I'm a sucker for melancholy; this one paints a portrait of longing for a lost love so perfectly. The lyrics are simple - "I want to feel your breath against my cheek, but you're a precious gift I can't keep" - and perfect in their straightforwardness. When it comes to a song about heartbreak, you play it softly and simply. Pyrotechnics are unbecoming.

It's probably wrong of me to do so, but when a musician no longer has a website, I tend to assume that he or she has given up. This type of thinking is what keeps me maintaining my own website. It is a message to the world that, for better or worse, I'm still trying. And it's not easy to keep trying. During that five year gap between my last two albums I'd keep thinking, "what the fuck am I doing? What is the point?"

I think the point is to avoid becoming ordinary...because ordinary means boring. We're all cogs in one way or another but some cogs are more special than others - and, damnit, I want to be special! But then those doubts start flooding in; I think I'm good, but am I merely deluding myself? Then it's a game of trying to shrug off those thoughts to keep from driving yourself crazy...

But I digress...like so many others, I wonder what happened to Kirstin Candy. I only know as much as Google will reveal. Is she still playing music at least? I hope she is. Because, fame, recognition, "success" - that's all frosting. Make a noise in a world demanding silence and I think you win.