illusionofjoy | Fuck Fiona Apple (I wouldn't) (Reply)

I hate Fiona Apple. There. I said it. Let the bitchfest begin. My hated for Fiona started in the usual way: her fans pissed me off. She's over-hyped - especially now that Epic records has set her free by releasing her latest album. Hey, E!-online, get a fucking hint - the divine Ms. A-nus was never a prisoner. She herself was the one who kept her idiot fans waiting so long. But, let's not allow the facts to get in the way of a good story, okay?

Fiona Apple is an anorexic piece of shit wanna-be princess who doesn't know to keep her mouth shut. Yeah, she can play piano. Tori Amos plays better. Yeah, she can write a good song. Ani DiFranco writes better. Still, some people love Fiona's shit. For some reason they can get past her vocal ticks (it is tourettes?) and her stupid little "how dare you stare at my bare midriff, even though I wore the shirt that's barely covering anything, you perverted little boy-child!" Don't worry, Fiona...I don't dig chicks who aren't well-nourished, and I really despise people who take a dump in a studio and call it music.

Honestly, I wish that Epic records had been holding her new album hostage. They would have been doing the world a favour.