Clip clop, clip clop...

[illusionofjoy]

A while back, as I joi_division were moving in together, a troll appeared from the basement of our new building to issue forth a bitchfest at me for making too much noise, as I sat on the stairwell taking a quick break. With my massive computer desk sitting on a dolly in front me and sweat pouring down my obviously exhausted face, the moustachioed man in his forties (here forth referred to as "The Troll") unleashed a diatribe about how the noise disturbed him. He told me he lived right above the garage – which I would later discover qualified him to be living in one of three basement apartment – and that the opening and closing of the door "in the middle of the night" had better not become a regular event.

At that time, I had been in stunned disbelief that someone would stoop so low as to harass a person who was trying to move in. I just shook my head and flipped him off from both hands. Before he had a chance to respond, Joi showed up at the foyer and The Troll ran away, as if he was frightened of women.

In the past several weeks, Joi and I heard nothing from The Troll. We've been slowly trying to get our place of residence together, which today resulted in many empty boxes that needed to be taken out. The route to the dumpster leads through the basement. Today, I discovered which unit The Troll lives in.

As I was walking down the stairwell, with an armful of boxes, I heard a sardonic comment come from behind the apartment door right next to the exit: "Thanks for the noise." The door was slightly ajar, so I pointed my mouth right in the direction of the opening and mock-replied as nasally as possible, "Thanks for the noissssse!" followed by an acrid, "go fuck yourself."

From that point on, when passing by that door, I took no pains to try and avoid making any extranious sounds. At 5:00 in the afternoon, I should be able to walk through the public hallways of my building without having some shithead complain that I am making too much noise. Said shithead isn't too bright, letting me know exactly which apartment he lives in. I had the possibilities narrowed down to three before – now it's narrowed down to one; thanks, Asshole.

Joi and I have noticed that a lot of people avoid the basement passages of our building. While all of the parking is in the back and it would be a quicker trip to go through the basement, we've witnessed many of the other residents take the long trip around to the front entrance of the building in order to get to their units. Why? Is everyone afraid of this troll? If that is the case, I'm happy to once again be a dissenter.

One other thing that Joi pointed out was that both garage doors in the back of the building seemed to break at the same time. Building maintenance has replaced our door, but the other door is still out of service. We've postulated that it is entirely possible that The Troll, hating all noise, had actually gone down to the garage and sabotaged both doors.

I've decided that if The Troll makes anymore comments as I am merely walking by, I'm going to call him out and tell him off. Furthermore, I refuse to walk all the way around the building because some malcontent can't stand the sound of footfalls on a carpet. If be wants to be a miserable asshole, that's fine. He can do it quietly in his own apartment. However, if he's expecting me to supplicate myself to him, he has another thing coming: I don't bow down to or take shit from anyone. Mr. Troll: you are fucking with the wrong person.