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illusionofjoy"Well, they are an endangered species," the Asian Goddess told me, making a Lilo & Stitch reference after I told her that I was covered in mosquito bites. She lives in Hawaii and she makes a Lilo & Stitch reference. Those wacky Japanese-Americans, I tell you. She's a silly girl, but that's one of the reasons I like her so much.
The reason I was covered in bug bites was the camping trip I went on with a friend of mine for the past two days. This friend, in actuality was someone who I hadn't seen in nearly three years – the Wells Woman, to be precise. We had lost touch for quite a while, but several months ago I had seen her old screen name online, and I decided to IM her. We started catching up and eventually decided that it would be cool to hang out sometime. At this point, we're good friends again.
She and I left for whatever campsite we happened upon Sunday night. I was lounging around the house when she picked me up, my sleeping bag and other essentials already packed. She was the one with the tent, dried food and a jug of wine. Since she had been driving all day, she allowed me to drive out of Potsdam.
We ended up stopping in Canton for bottled water before continuing towards Alexandria Bay. She knew of a few campsites there, so that was the direction we headed in. There was a KOA outside of Ogdensburg, but we passed it up on the premise that it looked kind of "sketchy."
We came upon the campsite at Jacques Cartier State Park after leaving St. Lawrence County, deciding to stay there. It was about 10:00PM by this time and the booth at the entrance to the grounds was just closing up as we pulled in. We were told to just pick any empty lot on the site and pay in the morning. We drove in, found a lot the looked nice and parked for the night.
WW and I actually spent most of the night conversing. Honestly, I think it was that more than anything else, which I enjoyed the most – not to say that I didn't enjoy the other things we did. It's hard to believe that it had been three years since we had last seen each other. It was really my fault that things fell apart (SEE: Sunday, November 21, 1999). I became so paranoid that I felt something for her that when the first excuse came along, I said "let's not see each other anymore." Hindsight 20/20, I was a right bastard to her, and I really had no excuse to be. She had done nothing wrong. Any problems that existed were only alive and well within my own head. Certainly from her vantage point, everything was going quite well until I dropped that horrible bomb loaded with my own insecurities on her head.
I confessed this all to her on the way to the campsite. She told me it was all right. We'd both had relationships and various encounters since going our separate ways so long ago. It was nice that I could finally wrap my head around being friends – be away from the feeling of things being "strange" and that she could forgive my failings.
In reflecting on WW, I think about The Asian Goddess. She is supposed to be visiting me in mid-September. I'm falling over myself in anticipation of her arrival. I desperately want to spend time with her, but...
She scares me. Not her, per se, but what I may feel for her. She betrayed me once, but I could find no other option than to forgive her. I wonder what will happen when she is here though...when I have her in reach. Half the time love is a feeling of dread that it is only a matter of time before the world falls apart and I implode. I don't want to lose her; in fact, I'm so afraid that I'll lose her that I may end up pushing her away in the process.
"Talk to her about this," WW told me.
"I plan to," I said, not knowing exactly when or where I would broach the subject. Maybe I should call her up some weekend and tell her how I really feel. It just wouldn't do to get deep while she's on her cell phone driving to work or school.
Sunday night neither WW nor myself slept all that well. It was uncomfortably hot, even with the window flaps of the tent open and I suspected that I had a rock under my hip – which one depended on which side of my body I was trying to sleep on at the time. A mosquito had also made its way into the tent, giving WW and I our first round of itchy bites.
We woke up late yesterday morning. I meandered to the restroom to relieve myself, brush my hair, shave and shower. How funny life is: when WW and I were first together, I had a beard. I doubt I'd ever want to grow one again at this point in my life. Also, the last time I went camping, I was either eleven or twelve years old, and shaving wasn't even an issue. I don't think I showered either the last time I camped, come to think of it. Age breeds rigid patterns, it seems. Of course, I'm still flexible enough not to get all pissy that the shower stall at the campsite is timed.
I returned to the tent and WW informed me that we had to move to another lot. A party who would be arriving that morning had reserved ours, she had been told by one of the campsite officials while I had been preening. We didn't go far, carrying the tent to the plot right next door to the one we had slept in the night before. It wasn't a moment too soon either, as the new occupants arrived about five minutes after we had set all of our equipment back up.
Yesterday we decided to drive to Alexandria Bay. We figured that since we had already left St. Lawrence County, the tourist town couldn't be that far off. We were a bit wrong with our calculations, but still made it there in good time. Our first order of business was to park and then get something to eat. We found a nice respectable little diner where we had lunch and spent some time conversing and people-watching. Afterwards, since there were three hours left on the parking meter we decided that we may as well do something.
Ultimately, we decided to take a ferry to Boldt Castle and "play tourist" for a couple of hours. WW hadn't been there since she was around four or five and I hadn't gone since my high school years. We wandered around Hart Island, munching on scenery and conversing. The most notable subject to come up: would it be appropriate to have sex in George Boldt's castle, when he himself never had the opportunity? My answer was no – respect for the dead and all that. Making out in Boldt Castle is alright though.
We returned to the campsite late in the afternoon, built a fire (okay, actually I watched WW build a fire) as night fell and then retired to the tent. Sleeping was even more interesting the second night, as the tent was now on a slight incline. Throughout the night, WW and I kept rolling towards the back of the lot. Again, both of my hips were rock-bruised and the mosquitoes made a feast of my exposed flesh (the most annoying bite being on my right buttock).
We broke camp this morning and drove to Ogdensburg where we had a late breakfast at a diner. It was funny, because throughout the meal we were talking about Wicca and the Kama Sutra, while surrounded by elderly people wearing large wooden crosses as necklaces and a sign on the wall that said, "praise the Lord for twenty great years!" WW intoned that perhaps we were in the wrong place.
We were back in Potsdam by early afternoon. I unloaded my stuff and bid WW a safe trip home. It was fun while it lasted, but I think I need more time away from Potsdam. Still, two days is better than nothing and I greatly enjoyed the company.
