Crappy local metal bands and stupid questions

[illusionofjoy]

When we last left our hero, he (I) had just arrived back from the Lone Star State and had every intention of going to the Steel City's local Goth/Industrial night. Indeed this was what he did, and therefore follows his account of that night...

I was really looking forward to Ceremony last night. missjoi was to be DJing with kaspellgoddess guesting (aka: DJ Medea). Joi and I went to the club thinking that everything would be fine and the night would be great.

It seems though, that mismanagement on behalf of the people operating Laga and The Upstage resulted in misfortune for Ceremony. Less Than Jake was supposed to be playing at The Upstage a couple of hours before Ceremony, which would have allowed for no time overlap (or a minimum of). Meanwhile, the festival of shitty local metal bands was to be held in Laga, the larger venue upstairs. When it was realised that Less Than Jake would actually draw a huge crowd, the venues for the shows were switched so that Less Than Jake was placed in the larger venue and sucky metal fest 2003 was in the smaller one. This, of course, ended up setting the schedule back over an hour, causing Ceremony to be delayed until 10:00PM.

This wouldn't have been nearly as annoying if Joi and I hadn't been stuck waiting through a wall of noise for these bands to finish so Ceremony could start. Thinking that the night would start at 9:00 as it usually does, we were at The Upstage at 8:00 to set up. This allowed us to witness all two excruciating hours of this show. I won't mention either bands' name, since denial if exposure is better than a negative review at killing something, however I will say that there was not an In Flames or an Opeth waiting to evolve from either of these groups.

Ceremony started at 10:00 and Joi set to immediately trying to drive out all of the metal heads who were still milling about. She started with the Cocteau Twins, which didn't work. The Smiths proved futile as well. The floor cleared of these wankers once the Virgin Prunes came on though.

At this point, the high I was on before going out was pretty much shot. Despite the good music being played and the fact that I wasn't so miserable as to drink myself stupid, this ultimately became the night where people couldn't help but prove their idiocy by failing to keep their mouths shut.

It began when somebody, during a nice set of classic Goth, yelled out, "play some fucking music I can dance to!" The individual in question has said shit like this before and it is usually directed at Joi or any other DJ who dares play something that is *gasp* actually Goth during the *gasp* Goth night. Unwilling to be complacent, I quickly yelled back, "go fuck yourself!"

It is usually at this juncture that Joi tells me that I should be at least civil to people. I pointed out to her that my reply was perfectly justified, as it was a defensive blow. Quite frankly, I get really sick of shitheads who think that Ceremony should be their personal jukebox and who also get their panties in a twist when a DJ isn't playing the current hit parade of Clear-Channel approved nu-metal that gets them so wet betwixt the thighs. Furthermore, I am not about to let these people attack my friends who are DJing when they are doing a good job in the booth and the overly verbal numb nut in question wouldn't know a mixing board from a rat's arse. I would never go out of my way to insult someone or launch any sort of attack without cause, however, I will be damned if I am not going to defend my friends and the music I love. Sometimes it is necessary to stand up for oneself, and I have observed that many in Pittsburgh's scene don't seem to grasp that concept (or in the very least, seem to have a warped sense of it).

My second dose of stupidity came from some girl claiming to be from "Industrial" magazine. Out of the blue, she came over to me and asked me if she could do an interview with me. Honestly, I thought she was whack from the get-go. However, I decided to play along on the off-chance that she might amuse me for five minutes.

She began by saying that the questions would be offensive, since she wrote for "an offensive magazine." My mind's-eye was already rolling. She continued by telling me that they were based in California and were comparing the scenes on the East and West coasts. Mentally, I queried that if they wanted to compare East to West, why they hadn't gone as far as New York City and were traipsing around jolly old Pittsburgh. Her spiel before the interview concluded with her saying that she'd had a rough weekend, therefore her press pass and notebook were lost. Instead, she presented a piece of loose-leaf paper, already heavily scribbled upon and a blue ballpoint pen. The revolutions of my mind's-eye increased twofold at this point.

The interview itself began. Her first question: "What do you call this unique style of dancing?" Her powers of observation were obviously nonexistent, as I saw no-one moving in the same manner upon the floor. Perhaps people had begun to line-dance at Ceremony and I had simply not noticed.

"It's just dancing," I replied. She muttered the words, "just...dancing..." as she scribbled them down in an indiscriminate corner of the piece of loose-leaf before moving on to her next question:

"Why do you come out to this night when the music isn't even remotely Goth?" she queried. I nearly burst out laughing. "You mean to tell me that you Californians don't consider Fields of The Nephilim, The Virgin Prunes, Joy Division and The Smiths Goth?"

"Well, no..." she replied, faltering, "I mean, yes, we do, but your music on the East coast is more electronic and ours is more like metal...like My Dying Bride and stuff..."

The question may have been meant to be offensive, but from where I sat, it merely came off as ignorant. I was obviously more intelligent than this girl and couldn't be bothered to play any games with her if she couldn't play very well. Upon having my initial assumptions about her confirmed, I simply walked away from her and loose-leaf interview questions, laughing along the way.

It boggles the mind how people feel the need to constantly prove how stupid they are to me. They should really stop putting forth so much effort.

Comments

Ach du je....

[oneirophrenia.livejournal.com]

Thank the GODS I didn't make it out last night. One, I have exactly *no* tolerance for shitty black metal--if it ain't Opeth or Dimmu Borgir, I can't stomach it--and two...do you realize what would've happened if that Califorinian chick would've talked shit on the Smiths or the Virgin Prunes around ME? Mr. Total Oldskool Asshole himself?! Oh, man, it would've been horrendous!

And besides...as a longtime veteran of the publishing game, there is no way on earth I could even begin to stomach writing for or, worse, taking *pride* for writing for a magazine described as "offensive." Such things generally aren't even the tiniest *bit* offensive. It is false advertising! Bastards!

Oh, BTW: I think I'll actually be out next Saturday. Woo!

Re: Ach du je....

[illusion-of-joy.livejournal.com]

It would be good to see you again if you do decide to come out.

[missjoi.livejournal.com]

as I stated that night- that first band should have not been allowed to come out of their basement and assult the masses with that garbage.

as for the nitwits and their comments- someday I wish one of them would just come up to me and say it rather than the comments from a distance or on the request sheet. i'd respect them more.

and play Abba. ;D

[aeriesstars.livejournal.com]

You should send that girl up here to Rochester where I will explain to her that it is "gothic interprative dancing".

[illusion-of-joy.livejournal.com]

You could try, but I doubt that she would understand the subtle differences between "washing the windows" and "changing the lightbulb." :D

[trhodes.livejournal.com]

Yea, that moron with the magazine pulled the same shit with me! When she asked the question of "why do you come out to this night when the music isn't even remotely goth?"

My reply of "They play quite a bit of music here that I would consider 'goth'" seemed to anger her as she jumped right in my face with a reply "No, this isn't goth! We're from California, we know!"

My only real reply to this was "Just because you're from California, and lack the accent, does not make you any brighter than me when it comes to shit like this." In all honesty, WTF did she think gave her the right to pull shit like that. Oh yea, she's from California, she must know everything...

--
Tom Rhodes

[illusion-of-joy.livejournal.com]

..because we all know that California was where the Goth subculture was born...under the bright midday sun.