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illusionofjoyAs I posted last night, the selection process for new Night Shift DJs has concluded and I was not among the chosen. While I was disappointed that I would no longer be "torturing the masses" with my particular musical flare, overall I'm relieved that it's over. An answer, whether it is acceptance or rejection, is release, which is always better than the strain of waiting.
While I may not necessarily agree with who was picked or understand why they were chosen, I was not about to throw a hissy fit about the final decision. It would seen that some people do not share my appreciation for civility.
To those unfortunate, undereducated individuals, I would like to offer these words of advice: grow up already and quit whining!
One thing I did notice during the process of selecting new DJs was that the Night Shift members charged with making the decision as to whom would get in were bombarded with the worst behaviour that humanity had to offer. This behaviour came not from the people who were in the running, but from those who felt slighted because they weren't. For some reason, these small-minded and myopic individuals felt that the Night Shift owed them for some reason or another.
Newsflash kiddies: neither the Night Shift, nor anyone else owes you a god-damned thing! As a patron of Ceremony, you are just that: a patron, someone who pays currency in exchange for goods and services. Even if you work in some other area of the club while Ceremony is occurring, this does not give you carte blanche to act out towards those fortunate enough to be in the DJ booth. You are nothing more than an employee, not god's gift to the Ceremony play list shunned.
Still, those who do not realise this simple order would approach current DJs during the selection process and beg to be considered. If their requests were turned down, they would often lash out at the unfortunate messengers. At one point, not hearing the desired answer to his query from the DJ he'd asked, the snubbed suitor tartly announced that he would, "just go and ask [another DJ] about it," as if the Night Shift weren't a cohesive unit that communicated with each other (newsflash: they are and they do).
I find it particularly paradoxical that these individuals, so bent upon joining the Night Shift are so generous when it comes to abusing the Night Shift. It would seem to me like they are begging to be fed only to bite the hand that could be feeding them.
Of course, in the minds of the psychotics who perceive themselves slighted, the hand that could be feeding them is not only empty, but teasing them as well. To that, I once more intone: get over it!
The girl whose entry I've linked to above went on a lengthy diatribe about how unfairly she's been treated by the Night Shift. In fact, her rant easily runs afoul into the territory known as the temper-tantrum. She screams bloody murder about how cliquish the Night Shift is, how they are "a bunch of idiots," how they ignore her "talents" (I've seen this girl in action and I plead the 5th, regarding her "talent") and she caps it all off by attacking those who are (were) actually being considered to be part of the Night Shift.
The post reads like a Greek tragedy stretched to comical proportions. Were I a member of the Night Shift trying to decide who to even consider, I would observe these actions and think something along the lines of, "holy shit I don't want to be within 100 feet of this psycho, much less work with her!" It's an example of the honey versus vinegar metaphor played out in the real world.
Still, the "slighted" feel like the world - or at least the Night Shift - owes them. They want that Holy Grail known as a regular spot in the DJ booth and have a conniption when they aren't allowed to drink from the chalice. They think that they deserve a prize for what they perceive as their hard work, their talent, or simply the length of time they have spent in the scene. At the risk of sounding like a broken record: get over it; the world owes you jack squat.
I was considered as a potential Night Shift member. I was damn lucky to be considered for the position. In the end, I made it through my live auditions, my interview and was not chosen as a member. Although disappointed, my reaction was not to whine and hurl insults in the faces of those who didn't pick me nor those they did choose. Instead, I wrote a thank you email to the Night Shift for even considering me and continued on with my life.
I would suggest to those out there who have been "slighted" that they follow in my example and continue on with their lives. However, I suspect that upon reading this they will only be content to flame me instead. I wouldn't be a bit surprised. Such is the way of the "slighted" psychopath.
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no subject
Date: 2004-01-30 08:00 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-01-30 08:19 pm (UTC)I miss you too. Maybe we could all hang out sometime?
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Date: 2004-01-30 08:24 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-01 02:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-31 03:53 am (UTC)wow. right on.
Date: 2004-01-31 09:59 am (UTC)you said EXACTLY what i was thinking, and as you were considered for a dj position, your opinion seems to hold more weight than if i just went off on a tangent.
maybe she didn't get the position because this is the type of behavior she exhibits?
the people supporting her in her post (save alexx), are also myopic, in that they can't fathom that just because she plays music THEY like that it doesn't mean it is appealing to a broader audience at ceremony. people often fail to see that their group is not the only one that attends goth scene functions.
"Such is the way of the "slighted" psychopath."
exactly, and i have had the misfortune of dealing with such psychopathic behavior from the girl before.
Re: wow. right on.
Date: 2004-01-31 02:55 pm (UTC)It's not about playing the music that we like, it's about showing talent as a DJ. Being a DJ myself, I tend to be a bit snobbish about this particular subject, but honestly, anyone can play one song after another. This require no thought, and no preperation. It is the DJ who mixes (whether it by beatmatching, by matching keys, by fading two songs together, etc.) that I will always have more respect for. Show me a DJ who spins 80's goth rock and the like who mixes it together, and an industrial DJ who just plays EBM track after EBM track, and I'll say that the first DJ is the one who is more talented, and the one who deserves a spot. Switch their positions, and have the industrial DJ mixing, and I say he deserves it.
Also consider the number of times that Tamara has been passed over, regardless of her hard work, the number of promises that have been made to her and consequently broken, and I'm relatively sure she has every right to complain, especially since this time around, she wasn't even in the selection process.
If it is any consolation, I will point out that all of the people persuing a night shift position, Seth included, are more desirable to listen to than the sets of a particular DJ who is currently in rotation.
Finally, I'd like to qualify all this by stating that nothing stated here is a personal attack. People get this attitude that you can't be critical of someone because it isn't "proper". Any DJ who plays sets that I dislike, I will point out immediately my dislike for these sets.
Re: wow. right on.
Date: 2004-01-31 04:47 pm (UTC)and you obviously didn't read the responses of your peers very closely.
Re: wow. right on.
Date: 2004-02-01 05:45 am (UTC)Of course, the fact that I criticized your friends DJ'ing ability will most likely be translated as a "personal attack". From my side of things, I actually encourage people to criticize my abilities, because it points out where I need to practice more. Either way, it's completely unnecessary to respond to a personal attack by making another one. That's just senseless, and immature.
-Don
Re: wow. right on.
Date: 2004-01-31 03:36 pm (UTC)regardless of what anyone thinks of the situation, why did you badmouth her FRIENDS for trying to be supportive of her?
man, i don't know about you, but if i had really really really really really really really really wanted something and not gotten it (regardless of whether not i deserved it)... i would be upset, and wanting comfort. and if it were that important to me, i would feel largely abandoned by my friends if just one person said something to me about it.
Re: wow. right on.
Date: 2004-01-31 04:49 pm (UTC)her behavior does not deserve support.
it's fine to say "i'm sorry", but it is NOT okay to condone her behavior and put down others.
since when is being a poor sport a good thing?
and if you see my reply to nukleardekay, you will see there were other people that give A LOT to the nightshift, and have equal talent and djing experience that were passed up. these people handled it maturely.
Re: wow. right on.
Date: 2004-01-31 04:55 pm (UTC)i count at least 11 other people who did not do this.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-31 03:22 pm (UTC)First, you reference me above as a person who said "They'd just go ask someone else". You left out the convenient fact that it was in the same night, and that Joi was too busy to really talk to me. Regardless of whether or not The Night Shift operates as a cohesive unit, I doubt that Joi somehow telepathically connected with Jim and said "I have been asked this question". Is it so wrong for me to get my hopes up? It's called being excited.
Secondly, as much as I'm trying to avoid stupid relationship politics here, I do have to make a comment on it, for the sake of proving something. I really don't have a problem with you over it, but as far as I can tell, you were given your first guest spot relatively quickly after requesting it, yes? If I'm wrong on this, please, correct me. It's just hard, from my point of view, to think that things operate in a fair fashion when my name was on the waiting list for a guest spot for almost an entire year before I was granted my first spot.
Thirdly, for as much as Tamara does for the club and the night, and for as much work as she puts into being a DJ, you would think the very least they could do is to include her in the selection process. If she had been given the chance to be included, I would think most of the bitching here would not have occurred.
This is not dramamongering, nor is it self-righteous bantering. This is just me getting out my views on the situation. I still respect you for trying as a DJ, for being a musician, and in general someone interesting to talk to while avoiding the dancefloor. Nonetheless, there are civil ways to do these kinds of things, and it's really not necessary to pick a fight over something like this.
-Don, who looks forward to sharing a clove with you
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Date: 2004-02-01 02:19 pm (UTC)1st - There is nothing wrong with getting your hopes up, nor is it wrong to be excited. Not to be insulting, but you do come off as a bit pushy at times, whether you realise it or not. Excitement just needs to be tempered with patience, which, I know, is not something anybody (myself included) wishes to hear.
2nd - I actually approached DJ Imperium about guesting at Ceremony. Joi and I weren't even dating at the time of my first guest spot. Perhaps I did get a spot comparatively quickly, but if that is the case, then you have Imperium to blame for vouching for me.
3rd - To my knowledge, Tamara has been considered twice prior to the current staff shake-up. I am not questioning Tamara's work ethic at all. What I am critical of, however, is her attitude towards those she allegedly wishes to work with. Twice she was considered and twice she pitched a fit when she wasn't chosen. The truth of the matter is that a prior consideration will not guarantee a future consideration, especially when one throws fits over being passed over for said prior considerations. In fact, wouldn't you agree that it would have been cruel for the current Night Shift to lead her on through auditions and interviews if they all knew in advance that they weren't going to pick her? I most certainly think so. She was considered twice before and not picked. A third time would have possibly been perceived as insulting.
In conclusion, I wasn't looking for a fight. I was merely appalled by certain reactions to the outcome of the selection process. Throwing a fit in reaction to being rejected is only appropriate in a soap opera. It would be my hope that people would conduct themselves with more decorum in the so-called "real world." However, given Tamara's entry and the subsequent entry following it, I highly doubt that she's willing to take my advice. I can understand being upset and wanting your friends to console you, however I cannot condone the vicious and petty display that was the substance of that entry.
On a more upbeat subject: the new Illusion of Joy album is slated to come out in March. Would you like a copy for WRCT?
I think the completion of a new album would be something very much worth sharing a clove over.
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Date: 2004-02-01 03:30 pm (UTC)Twice she was considered and twice she pitched a fit when she wasn't chosen.
Damn. Once again, you really do not have your facts straight at all. I'm quite impressed. I've been auditioned for a potential spot more than twice. And I did not pitch a fit the last time I was not chosen. I am curious what evidence you have of any past fits....? Why do you make these things up? Sure I 'pitched a fit' in my own journal this time, without dragging other people's names into it specifically like some people. I do not understand how anything i said in my original outpouring is a direct personal attack...unless you *chose* to take it that way.
In that case, it was your choice to read it and feel that way about it. plenty of other people read it without getting so gosh darned upset about what i said. Think about it. :]
her attitude towards those she allegedly wishes to work with.
I'm openly upset this time because I've given up wishing to work with certain people. This is something i wanted, past-tense. So there you go. When the organization has cleansed itself, I may reconsider. I doubt it. At this point in time, I know that making 'protected' entries is pointless because some people have a history of no respect for personal/private communications. And my feelings are not secret anyhow. It's not even a matter of whether or not I feel 'slighted.' It's my own business to feel what I shall. It's a matter of you misinterpreting almost everything you chose to attack me for. You sir are not privy to past conversations about this situation and so you are making foolish assumptions based on your limited view.
In conclusion, I wasn't looking for a fight.
You don't expect me to believe that, right? If that were even slightly true, you wouldn't have carried on the way you did at all.
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Date: 2004-02-02 06:05 pm (UTC)I cannot speak for everyone who has ever been a part of The Night Shift, but I believe that there are two main reasons why you have never been asked to join. The first one is a question of balance. When The Night Shift chooses new members, they have to look at what styles of music are not being covered, and the style that you spin has been lacking more at some points in the evolution of The Night Shift than at others. The second is a question of maturity. When it was suggested (never promised, of course) that you might have a better chance of being chosen for The Night Shift the next time there was an opening, I think one thing that various members of The Night Shift were waiting for was to see if, as you got older, you would develop more of the diplomacy, tact, patience, and understanding that is necessary to minimize drama like this rather than cause it. That's a very important skill to have in order to be part of a group of people who must work together and also be in the public eye.
I think you're right when you say that The Night Shift should have responded to your inquiries about whether you were a candidate. I know that it was difficult for them to find the right words, and that they were having trouble with it. In the past, The Night Shift has worked well together as a group because everyone had different and compatible talents. Some of those talents included leadership skills. I think you are correct when you imply that after Brian and Matt left, more leadership skill was needed. Joy did an amazing job of picking up that slack considering everything that was going on in her personal life, and I believe she should be commended rather than condemned. At the same time, I know that she was aware that she, Stephanie, and Jim needed to find new members of The Night Shift who would help bring more leadership skill to the group. People who would be responsible, dedicated, enthusiastic, positive, energetic, and diplomatic, in addition to bringing a good musical balance to the night. I believe that they absolutely made the right choice in Alexx and Don, and I am confident about Ceremony's future with them on board.
Tamara, I hope, so much, that you will view this as an opportunity for growth rather than just throwing away something you enjoy and are good at. I care a lot about you and I want the best for you. You are so talented and have so much to offer. I hate to see your talents not being put to use because you are not developing your ability to be positive, supportive, and understanding of other people so that you can work with them effectively.
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Date: 2004-02-02 09:51 pm (UTC)as for drama...a) i've really really stabilized a lot over the past two years. apparently no one noticed. i don't think anyone did but myself and my partner. i'm about to graduate from college, which I put myself through financially. i've won awards in my field, and i'm grad-school bound. i even did that obligatory year of therapy and straightened lots of things out. i'm really doing well for myself lately, if i do say so myself. much more put-together in most situations.
and b) perhaps *because* things were going so smoothly, it was very obvious when i had a snarky little outburst (in my own journal) a few days ago. up until that point i had been entirely tactful, patient, and polite with the appropriate people, as far as i know...and still did not receive much friendliness in return. some people were downright rude. i kept most of my feelings between myself and a select few...until that breaking point where i had given up hope of anything reasonable occuring to improve the situation.
and c) i did not make pains to *spread* the drama. i had my little outburst, got the much-appreciated lovey-dovey support from my myopic group of friends that made me feel better inside, and i was happy to leave it at that. i doubt that it would have been an issue if it had not travelled outside of that sphere. i cannot help that others took it upon themselves to spread it, can i? am i able to control that aspect of what happened recently? so yes, i started something that got bigger than i intended it to. that was wrong, and i've been debating whether an apology would be appropriate. i am aware that "i'm sorry i have thoughts and feelings in my own journal" is not appropriate. i'm still working on something that is.
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Date: 2004-02-03 10:44 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-03 05:32 pm (UTC)and i've taken what you've said to heart; my cd players are off the market, for now ;D actually, ok, i forgot that i can't even sell the damn things until i dj this anime convention next month. hahah. baka me.
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Date: 2004-02-03 12:08 am (UTC)