illusionofjoy | Mirrored TSWP Entry - Wednesday, January 1, 2003

I welcomed in the New Year with Darkling. She came over to my house and after we both watched the ball drop in Times Square on TV, we ended up watching Victor/Victoria together. Our suspicion is that the two of us has seen more "gay movies" than masochistmonkey, who is now in grave danger of being booted from the homosexual club if he doesn't catch up to us. The notice he would receive in the mail would probably read henceforth:

Dear Sir:

We at the headquarters of the homosexual agenda have been monitoring your media intake and are startled by several items that have come to our attention. First and foremost, your consumption of gay films is at a staggering low. While you have filled your required viewing of Velvet Goldmine, The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Hedwig & the Angry Inch, you have failed to meet the quota of gay movies required for someone claiming to pursue the lifestyle (in these topsy-turvy times, merely sleeping with a member of the same sex is not enough to earn your gay card). Please see the enclosed list of suggested films so that you may remedy this error in your ways. If you need any further assistance, please contact our foremost professional, The Rainbow Warrior.

Which reminds me, I need to cut down on "gay films," else I'll get my "hetero card" revoked. Oh, and techno music...I've got to stop listening to that damn faggy techno music...

Seriously though, I enjoyed spending New Year's with Darkling, even if it wasn't a huge blow-out of a party. What I didn't enjoy were those stretches of time I had to spend with her family. I've been told things about these people that I don't find very endearing. I also don't get a very good vibe when I'm around them - that is to say that I get a feeling. The feeling I get can only be described as a little voice inside of me saying, "you do not want to spend a minute longer in the presence of these individuals than you absolutely have to." Sometimes I get such feelings about people, whereas some are astute at seeing the good in people, I'm quite well-practised in seeing the inherit evil that resides in humans.

What I've been told that particular family dynamic is what truly disenamours me from them. Though not my story to tell, I will say that what I have heard makes me want to look at Darkling's parents straight in the eye and say, "You are not good people. You do not deserve any good grace from whatever deity you believe in and you certainly do not deserve any impunity from what poetic justice may fall upon you for the sins you have committed - and continue to commit against your daughter, who is an innocent. Threefold, a pox on both of you." Perhaps I'm being harsh, having only heard one side of the story. Then again, I am forced to wonder what the chances are that the sinners would actually confess, or even have a reasonable excuse for, the sins.

There are times when I really wish I could tell anyone at anytime exactly what I thought of them. I'd love to just tell the most backwards repressors among us that they are wrong in fluid, acid phrases and leave them struck with the sudden realisation that I am correct and they have been wrong all the time. I have to pick my battles carefully though. Certain individuals are small potatoes, while others are not. Dropping a "fuck you" can still be very much like dropping a nuclear bomb, depending on where and when it is dropped.