Seth Warren

Like a stain on the cloth of American politics which simply refuses to be bleached out, Rick Santorum announced that he is running for President. I can't say that I am totally surprised by this; the field of potential Republican challengers to Barack Obama is full of also-rans, fringe candidates, outright psychopaths and rejects from nearly a decade ago. The best candidate the Republican Party ever ran during my lifetime was John McCain (prior to his conversion to Tea Party suck-up in order to retain his Senate seat). With the current trajectory of the party, it is unlikely that staunch right-wingers will allow another John McCain to make a run for the White House.

Not that I have any love for the current state of the Democratic Party. Still, the thought of Rick Santorum getting anywhere near a seat of political power again churns my stomach. So, in considering 2012, my vote becomes an exercise in strategical poll-casting; in 2008 I didn't so much as vote for John McCain as I voted against Barack Obama and his obvious (to those hypnotized by his smug visage) desire to pursue a Reaganesque agenda. I expect someone like McCain to praise Reagan. I expect members of the Democratic party to condemn Reagan and Barack Obama's failure to do so, and indeed go so far as run parallel to his opponent regarding The Gipper was another mark against Obama and his Democratic Party.

But I digress...

Rick Santorum, being the greater of two evils would likely press me into voting against him by voting for Barack Obama, much as it pains me to consider doing such a thing. Truth be told, if the system allowed me to cast my ballot honestly in a way that mattered when votes were tabulated, I'd vote "none of the above" in a Santorum versus Obama race just like I did when Dan Onorato was running against Tom Corbett for governor of Pennsylvania (and as I may yet do for the Allegheny County chief executive race unless Rich "Frackwater" Fitzgerald gets down on his hands and knees and begins licking my boots).

Given his track record of scoring upsets when you least expect it, I don't feel that it is a prudent strategy to vote "none of the above" if it came out to Santorum versus Obama. Yes, Obama sucks - he has basically taken a gaping wound and put band-aids on it. But, by comparison, if you are bleeding would you prefer a band-aid or are you going to point to the guy with the axe and tub of battery acid and say, "hey buddy, this doesn't hurt nearly enough!" It's a crummy choice, but at least with the band-aid, you have a slim change of maybe holding out long enough for somebody who can stitch you up and bandage you properly (note though that the heavy implication here is that time is short and it is running out).

Do not underestimate Rick Santorum. His views are radical and completely wrong-headed. He is a disgusting troll who desecrated the body of a miscarried fetus (Gabriel, who would have been their fourth child). He wants to force his religion into the public and political sphere where it has no place. He thinks homosexuality is not only an abomination but that allowing homosexuals equal rights will open the doors to public acts of bestiality. He is also, despite all of this, very charming and able to enthrall a crowd. He managed multiple terms in Congress against expectations and two terms in the Senate before Pennsylvanian voters had a moment of sanity and threw him out. Without due vigilance, Rick Santorum could very well win the Republican nomination and the presidency while those of us most disgusted by his vision for America are too busy laughing over the fact that Dan Savage redefined his last name as "that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex."

Slime has a way of getting everywhere and turning up in places where you least want it to.